The Chalkbored

The title describes me after I heard the band do their warm-up song at Vicky's party last night. I had been worried for the last 12 months or so that some serious embarrassment was possible. I am shame-faced to have to report that I could not have been more wrong! They were amazing! And it was so totally different to a Sunday morning...good job, really, considering the set lists! I was very proud of my bass maestro and it was brill to be sitting next to one of the other groupies...Suz! So, Vicky's 30th birthday bash was a top top night...it was buzzing and there were lots of good friends there. The food was fab and Martin's little speech brought a lump to your throat...literally...gross placenta story involved! Thanks Vic!

It has been a really good weekend to end the holidays...Anna turned up for a little while yesterday and it was really good to see her. We're not sure when she will be able to come up again as she will be back in University this week as well as the odd shift on the ward. Hey ho! I had to wake Caitlin at 8:45am yesterday in order to be ready for the re-start of dancing. We were chuffed when we picked her up to hear that Vicky wants her to do 2 solos for the up and coming festival as well as her being in a whole range of duets, trios and troupe dances. I think this is going to be an equally busy term. We were at dancing twice today...for a private lesson and festival class! Jamie has been and had all his surfer dude hair cut off...good job, really, as it was getting very shaggy. His only comment was how cold his ears were as we stepped out of the barber's yesterday late afternoon!

I am starting a mental shift into a normal school week. The kids are going to Helen for the day tomorrow as they have a training day...she's a star for having them... Emily is the only one of the 4 kids having to go to school...much to her disgust! I feel as though it is about time for a normal routine to start...it seems like a long time since that was the case...the last week of my term passed in a bit of a blur so back to real life is needed! Paul is coming up in the middle of the week to hire a van and do some serious furniture removals from Da's and to drive his famous car back to Wales after the weekend. Mum seems keen to get moving with some clearance but they don't appear to be in any rush to put the house on the market. We should be off to the solicitor this week to start the probate process.It is all a bit unreal.

Anyway...need to find my school bag and see if there is anything pressing before tomorrow! S x

There's nothing like a bereavement in the close family to get you thinking...Mum and I are co-executor's of Da's will and, following a visit to the solicitor before Christmas, Derek and I have finally been galvanised into making some concrete plans to make our will. I am ashamed to admit that we have talked and talked about the implications but never actually done anything about it. Dad reminded me (again!) that there is nothing worse, from a legal point of view, than dying in testate so we are going to make an appointment next week and get it sorted. The sticking point in our discussions has always been the children...how do we decide what their future would be if Derek and I were to die at the same time? Caitlin asked me a few months ago what would happen to them in those circumstances and so I turned the question back to her and was interested that the people she would want to go to are those that we would consider as well...she obviously feel secure with the significant adults around her.

So...we have asked Anna to be their guardian and she has, in principle, agreed with some more discussion needed. She said some lovely things in the conversation and we feel, without any doubts, that she is the right person. We feel that she has all the qualities and values needed to bring them up in the way that we would want. We hope that we will also be able to stipulate other people who we would want to have a role in their lives. So...we feel a bit better that plans are progressing a bit now!

We had a top night last night with Ant, Yvonne, Tash and Josh. They are so FAB! The kids were all settled and asleep by 8pm and we chilled with drinks and snacks til the appointed hour to see in the New Year. Caitlin is now upstairs sobbing because they have gone home...roll on 45 days time and our trip to Disneyland Paris! We spent a fair bit of time talking and planning and are thrilled that their expectations are very similar to ours. We showed the kids the hotel and other bits on the internet and Derek has made and laminated countdown charts for them. It is very exciting!!

So... in evitably out thoughts are turning back to school and work and routine. I am back on Mon with a teacher training day but Derek has some bits of work to do tomorrow. We will try and hold out on the holiday feeling until the end of the weekend. But...hey, life carries on and this term has some cool stuff to look forward to! I hope that 2009 is all that people hope for! S x

Having not had a cold for the past 3 winters, I am valiantly fighting the development of a full blown snot attack. Jamie has had a pretty bad cold and cough over the last week and I wonder if my luck/immunity is finally running out. I have a red and sore throat and have no energy at all. However, am dosing myself regularly with Beecham's and must keep fighting...

We have had a fab few days spent with family and are now looking forward to several get togethers with friends. The kids have had some top presents...big hits were the mega cheap MP3 players that Derek got for them...Jamie spent all one day listening to "Bad to the Bone"! Caitlin has had this year's 'must have' game for her DS - Professor Layton and his Curious Village...it has been driving me slowly mad, too, but is a great puzzle game.

Derek's parents and Helen and Graham both had the fab idea of giving the kids Euros ready for our Disneyland trip with Ant and Yvonne at February half-term. So, I spent a few minutes last night counting up the other Euro notes and coins lying around. I also found some Zimbabwean currency, leftover from our trip there in 1995. I was curious to know, in light of the hyper-inflation in Zimbabwe, how much our 70 cents might be worth. So, I looked on the internet...at the beginning of December, 21 trillion Zimbabwean dollars were worth one US dollar!!! So, our coins are worth absolutely and completely nothing. I am sure the metal they are made of is worth more! What a dreadful situation that country is in.

Right...we're off to the cinema in a bit to see "Bedtime Stories" - hope it is funny! Happy 09 to all out there! S x

I have been thinking about blogging for the last little while but after some thought and a conversation with Jon and Lara this evening, I have decided how to go about it.

On Dec 5th, just as he was on his way to Caitlin's dance show, Da succumbed to heart failure and passed away. So, the weekend was a real emotional rollercoaster...Caitlin was truly fantastic in the show and we were really proud of her but it was all tinged in a sadness that was, at times, overwhelming. We had the funeral this Wednesday and gave him the send off he deserved at Oakley Wood (over 100 people, standing room only) followed by a "do" (Nikki kept calling it a party...wake didn't seem right, somehow) at The Draycote Hotel. Mum was really pleased with how it all went and that seems important and the thing to focus on. She has received many cards, all telling what a special man he was...so we will focus on the legacy he has left behind and the many happy memories.

I'd like to thank all those out there who have been especially kind and thoughtful over the last couple of weeks...particularly Anna and Jon and Lara (who did everything right when Derek called me with the news), Graham and Helen, Ted and Margery and my fantastic Derek who has given me lots of breaks and space. And, of course, other friends who texted and sent kind messages over the time leading up to the funeral and after...I am lucky to have top friends.

I was very glad when term ended...the last week was a trial but just something to get through. Anna was here for the weekend after the end of term and my birthday so we did the usual birthday things, including buying our fab Christmas tree...it's supposed to be a bit smaller than last year but it seems tall and full...all great! It was fun to see the kid's reactions as they found all the decorations they have made over the last few years.

The other two events to note are firstly, our trip to the Shepherd's Bush Empire to see Delirious last Monday night. We went with Helen and Graham as our Christmas present to each other. And it was a top night. We went at lunchtime and tubed into London...we went to eat at a restaurant within the new Westfield shopping centre (totally over the top and not somewhere I would choose to go again!)...Helen made us laugh no end when she literally almost bumped into Austin Healey...that in itself was not all that funny but she then texted everyone she knew about it!

On Thursday, I dropped Jims off at school and then went down to see Libby. When asked by Graham when we were out for dinner what we had done in the day, we said we had talked in the kitchen, then looked round the house then talked on the stairs. Then we had some lunch and talked some more then talked in the lounge...he said he got the idea! She is the best company, so much goes unsaid. We had a really nice meal and then went to see "Changeling" at the cinema. What a harrowing film...and quite typical of films Libs and I have seen in the past! When we got home we talked some more!! I came home Friday morning feeling as though I had found a real oasis in my current desert.

We have been to the carol service at church this evening...and a drink and a chat at Jon and Lara's...fab to see them...they have all been really poorly and are just starting to venture back into the world. I went and picked up Suz and the girls and it was really lovely to see them, too. Caitlin and Jamie had little roles in the nativity tableau and Derek did good singing...was all really quite Christmassy! Derek and I really need to start wrapping the presents for the kids...the dining room is currently out of bounds!

I am quite looking forward to this week and am hoping that it will not be too weird or sad without Da. I am sure he would not want us to be thinking about sad things so I will try to remember happy Christmas times...but it is not easy. Happy Christmas and all the best for 2009 to all out there! S x

I freely admit that my grammar is fairly poor but I deliberately used capitals in the middle of the sentence that makes the title of this entry. This is the week that Caitlin has been waiting for and she is now fully "into" show week...rehearsals every night and then performances from Thursday to Saturday. I hadn't really got the timings for tonight and she arrived spectacularly late...the kids were all crossing the road from dressing rooms to the theatre and she was still in her CATS uniform and had not been miked up for her trio...which is the second number onwards...big oopsie! And that was all on top of spending time in A&E yesterday morning as she had damaged her toe larking around with Jamie on Saturday night. Luckily, there is no permanent damage and her limp mysteriously disappeared when the doctor assured her that it was not broken! What a drama queen! So...hopefully I am now clear about when to be where and there will be no more injuries!

We have had a top top weekend...I definitely feel in need of a weekend to get over the weekend. I was late home after a fab revision day with my Y12 on Friday, followed by cerificate evening. However, I was not as late as Rosie and Oli, Runton friends, who were driving down to stay ready for a Runton Leader's Day at Christchurch. They were involved in a smash on the motorway and got here after 10:30pm. Still, they were unharmed and Oli's car suffered only minor damage. It was fab to see them and then Graham and Libs on Saturday, amongst a whole host of other Runton folk. Derek and I helped with the domestic arrangements and it was great to play a small part in a really successful day.

Last night I went with the youth to serve tea and mince pies at the traditional Advent service for the 4:30pm congregation at church. It was unexpectedly quite fun and then the kids all rocked up here for pizza and snacks and then we moved into our slot for hosting...Derek did a brilliant quiz with a whole variety of rounds - general knowledge, sports, films, pictures, sound bites and video clips. The kids seemed to really enjoy it and there was a fantastic atmosphere...a real buzz. It is definitely true that it takes weeks to build relationships but we are starting to make some progress. And the kids are really funny!

So...big focus on dancing this week...we are bursting with pride...and Caitlin is just doing what she loves! Jamie has the excitement of a Beaver trip to bowling on Wednesday so that will break up his week well. Anna will be here for the weekend and the one after (being the traditional weekend for The Tree) so we are all really looking forward to seeing her. The next couple of weeks are looking good...birthday, Delirious and a trip to see Libs are just a few highlights. Oh...and I must go to school...Charity Day and various end of term/Christmas stuff going on...all good! Life is cool! S x

The last couple of weeks have placed some extra demands on us and I think it is about time I let the world (well, as much of it that reads these rants!) know how grateful I am to all those who support us on a daily quest for a happy and contented family.

Whenever I have to stay at school for an evening event, we have to call in the troops to fill in the gap between the Bridges pick up and Derek finishing work...this week will be my third week in a row with such an occurrence. Last week I was on a messenger chat with Lara and she volunteered to sort the kids on Thursday...what an absolute star! And the kids were SO excited when they heard that Zak, Maisey...(and Lara!!)...were picking them up.

Whenever Derek has to go to Basingstoke...what a salubrious destination that is!...we have to call in other troops to take Jims to school...this morning Mum arrived at 7:40am to do that little job...and she even managed to do his spellings with him, too...so big thanks to her! We are now into the third year that the Mum (Clare) of Caitlin's friend, Megan, has taken her to school. We are eternally grateful to Clare...especially as I dropped Caitlin off with her at 7:45am this morning...as she is unfailingly reliable and sends Caitlin off with a cuddle and a kiss every day! We are so lucky to have our kids surrounded by all these fab people that are totally "for" us.

I am feeling particularly mellow towards all of our parents at the moment. I am well aware that we are amazingly lucky that they are able to be a part of our lives and do stuff with the kids...Margery went to a Grandparent's lunch at school with Jims last Friday...Mum is having the kids on Friday as they have a training day. Dad babysits regularly and at very short notice. Ted brought Caitlin home from dancing last night because Derek was at band when she needed picking up...he just went out, collected her, brought her home then went home himself. That is a seriously helpful thing to be doing. And I feel constantly supported by them as a working Mum...I really feel that they all understand why I am so happy in my job and my desire to "have it all"...which I quite regularly feel that I do!

So...thanks to all the folks out there who enable us to keep all our balls in the air and to have the kind of life we want! We feel very fortunate! Sx

So...a little voice at 4am says to me..."Mummy, I feel sick"...Caitlin this time! When I rang her school this morning to let them know that she wouldn't be at school, it took me 10 minutes to get through and the receptionist said "oh, another one!". When I picked Jims up from Bridges this evening, the lady who does the walking bus from the junior school said that 90 (90!!) kids were off today and more had been going home as the day had passed! It's clearly a bad one! Having said that, Caitlin stopped being sick sooner than Jamie did last week and she didn't create any washing...I guess that is the benefit of them being a bit older and more in control! Let's just hope that is it for a while...it is all a bit gross!

And I am also slightly fed up of loooooong days at school. I had a staff meeting Tuesday so was late home then and a 6th form open evening last night and didn't get home until 9:30pm. It is not really what I am used to and, on these dark nights, is a bit depressing. In some ways I am glad that Caitlin is under the weather because it forces us to have some quiet time at home this weekend. I am definitely relishing the fact that I only have 3 more weeks at school and will have a week at home on my own before the kids finish...might actually get some stuff sorted out for Christmas!

I was feeling a bit under the weather on Wednesday night with a sore throat and no voice...thankfully it has come to nothing and I woke up feeling ok yesterday morning. But, I went to bed very early on Wed evening and just lay in bed and watched 'Pretty Woman'...what a great chick flick it is...complete with dodgy 80's hair and fashion. There are some great lines in at and it was amazing just to watch and not do anything else. I prescribe myself an early night with a similar film once a week...hmmm....wonder how long that will last!

So...dancing is going to take over in the next 2 weeks...Caitlin's rehearsals kick off big style (from tonight, actually, but she will miss that one and tomorrow's...hey ho!) now and she will be in the theatre from next Sunday...then it is EVERY evening til 10pm until the following Saturday. Every year, I wonder how she will cope with the pace but she always rises to the occasion and I think the adrenaline carries her through. We are so so proud of her and are looking forward to seeing her as one of Scuttle's gulls in 'The Little Mermaid' section...I think it will be quite entertaining and funny.

Right...need to do some clearing up and then might find my book for a quiet night at home! S x

I have had a week of dissections this week...one of my Y12 groups did hearts on Tuesday (the other group get to do it tomorrow) and my Y13 are currently having the pleasure of dissecting kidneys. They are complaining quite a lot (and seem surprised) about the smell of wee. What exactly did they expect??! Some of these kids have aspirations towards medicine and, seeing their expertise (or rather, serious lack of it) when wielding a scalpel, I feel very afraid! All I can say is, I am very glad that medical training takes years and years and years! There is plenty of time for them to improve! However, it is a great thing to be doing with them...they really love having a good old hack at a piece of offal...oh, and there is some educational purpose to it, too!

S x

So...I was having an oh so interesting conversation with the checkout lady in Tesco earlier and we commented on how dark it is now so soon in the evening. We have definitely reached the point where I hardly see the house in the light during the week. I have to say I really don't like it. I think the short days leading up to Christmas are pretty grim and always look forward to the days getting longer in the New Year. I always feel much more cheerful when the day is sunny and clear...not much of that recently!

This has been a particularly long and tiring week...a little voice woke me up at 1:10am on Wednesday...Jamie telling me he had been sick in his bed. Investigation revealed that this was indeed the case and he proceeded to repeat the event (though thankfully not in his bed!) until about 3pm on Thursday. He has since made a rapid recovery and is fine now. Why is that you can cope reasonably well with relentless feeding and the like when the kids are small but now they are older, any disturbance to sleep like this is absolutely exhausting? And to make matters worse, I had a 14 hour day on Thursday due to a parent's evening. I was very glad when I woke up at 8:10am this morning and realised a couple of quietish days loomed!

I spent the majority of this morning making Caitlin's special birthday cake, to her specifications. It seems to involve copious quanitities of sugar! Derek has rung the family to make sure that no-one has any sugar all day tomorrow until they come for tea and cake...sure we will all be high as kites with a simple sniff! Still...it looks pretty good and I always like spending the time flexing my mostly pretty crap creative side!

We have been making some attempts to make a dent in Christmas by trying to pick up the odd present here and there and are making a few tentative plans with Mum. We are going to spend some time with them on Christmas Day and the kids are going to spend the night there. It will be really nice to see them on the Day as they have been away with Da for the last 3 years. I still feel as though it is a bit early to do much planning and shopping but no doubt the next 6 weeks (a bit less, actually) will sneak up on us quickly with events and The Show!!

That's it for now,,,going to go and read. S x

Reading back through the past few entries, they are more like a diary of events in my life rather than the philosophical comment on all sorts of interesting things like I had hoped it would be. You can keep up (sort of, depending on frequency of entry!) with the day to day stuff that goes on where we are but it is hardly a lot more! So...here is my attempt to muse about life!

It is Caitlin's 10th birthday tomorrow...I guess that in itself is an opportunity to comment on "how time flies" and "gosh, I feel old" and "I don't want her to grow up" but actually I am not bothered about any of those things. The time has gone past very quickly and seems to go ever quicker but I am happy for her to become increasingly independent and to know her own mind. It makes life much more interesting and challenging. I find these days that I can't always predict how she will react to things and I certainly couldn't choose clothes or other personal items for her...she is definitely developing opinions about those!  And it is amusing to see peer pressure exerting an effect...I suppose it might become less amusing over the next few years! But, ultimately, we are very proud of her as she is mostly great company and a credit to those around us who have invested time in her 10 years so far.

We have had a fab weekend with Anna here...she is so amazing. The kids literally threw themselves at her when she arrived on Friday afternoon...Jamie gave her a massive whole body hug, which is quite unlike him. She is such great company and slots into family life around us brilliantly...she loves and accepts us just how we are and vice versa. Caitlin was quite overcome and gave her a big hug in Costa Coffee this morning when we dropped into the conversation that she wasn't going home until we all go out in the morning! That means she gets to participate (as she quite often has for various birthdays!) in the present ceremony in bed!

So...we are in a period of time leading up to Christmas that is pretty busy in the Old household...the CATS show is looming in 4 weeks...Caitlin is dancing every day but Thursday this week!!! We have a Runton event and an Ignite training day and the odd birthday around the place! I have school events looming, too - a parent's evening this week, an open evening next week and a certificate evening the week after...just to add to the usual stuff! Still, I would rather life be busy and interesting than dull, dull, dull! That just makes dull people!

Right...Derek is at work...has been all afternoon...so it falls to me to do some clearing up ready for the start of the week...and maybe look at the odd lesson or two for tomorrow! Oh...and ice a birthday cake! S x