Fruitarians do my NUT!!

I've always found the idea of being a vegetarian comical. Why would anyone want to cut out such a major food group from their diet, and anyway, as a kid in my school said - if you're a vegetarian, you get to eat sesame seed snaps instead of crisps!! Well, woohoo!! I'd give up meat for that. (He seriously wouldn't let me try one unless I became a vegetarian, so I did, for all of 2 minutes in an English lesson - THEY'RE DISCUSTING - eat meat!!

Anyway, I then discovered that some people (we'll call them "vegans", for want of a silly'er word) don't eat meat, or anything that came from an animal (i.e. dairy products) so, no bacon or eggs for them. What a life?

And now, it turns out that there are people out there who go one step further. They call themsleves "Fruitarians" and claim to "only eat foods that fall naturally from a tree or plant".

So here's the deal - I've been thinking about how dumb that sounds for a while, and then I realised - Pretty much anything would naturally fall from a tree - cows, pigs, cheese, hippos (but not anything with opposable thumbs, as they can "cling" - thanks Connie). So that's it. Fruitarians can actually eat anything they like, as long as, in theory, it would fall from a tree quite naturally if placed there!!

And therefore, I would like to suggest that from this moment forth, I am known as a Pseudo-fruitarian (i.e. a fruitarian who actually is just taking the micky out of the whole idea of eating plants).

Would anyone care to join me?